[SAKURAKI]

2011-12-09T22:35:00.000-08:00

"Love like you've never loved before..."

Boooo~
I've got zilch to update about other than..
I'm totally into my dramas as I survive through SIP.

Let me randomly spazz about boys (:
HAHAHA.

My current obsessions:
MY DEAREST BOYFRIENDS ♥

Yoon Shi Yoon oppa~
(That smile! Those sunshine smiles always win my heart!)

Jung Il Woo oppa~
(I didn't really like his character in Eun Hye's drama but I'm totally loving him because of 'Cha Chi Soo'! Plus, he's got such a sweet smile!)

Okay, fine~
I've got smile fetishes.
I'll admit it.

JaNe.

2011-12-03T21:38:00.000-08:00

"I never knew you could hate the world so much."

Hello people.
A post after months?
Well, whatever.

I have no life at the moment.
Busy with internship.
All I do is go to work, eat and sleep.
Weekends are used for sleeping and doing my projects.
Yeah, that's my life right now.

I'm not even in the mood for Christmas.
Given that it's the ONLY holiday I celebrate every year,
Not having a mood for it is the worst case scenario.
Christmas shopping, I have no time for you ):

Anyway, I feel like everything is going downhill.
My emotions, my confidence, my strength..
Everything seems to be disappearing.

I feel like my depression period in Sec school will repeat itself.
I don't want that... I really don't.
It's not any help when the world is always working against you though.

I've been crying so often recently.
For various reasons.
I don't know how much more I can put up with.

Friends?
I don't believe in such things.
There are a rare few that stick by me even on my worst days.
Those that actually concern themselves with me like a friend would..

Let me say, friends from polytechnic are definitely NOT the ones.
If you have to ACT concerned, just don't bother about me.
I don't feel like I'm part of the clique.
I feel like an outsider sometimes.
If you don't plan to involve me, then just tell me.
I'm already expecting such treatment, it wouldn't be a disappointment.

I'm sick and tired of trying to please people like that.
It's so frustrating, having to act nice to people you dislike.
I had to go through that while attending school last semester.
Truthfully, I'm thankful for internship because I don't need to see their faces.
That's a whole lot for me.

Sometimes, I wonder what's it like to give up your life.
Is it easy? I know it's difficult.
It's so difficult to just cut away the strings and end it all.
Even with the thoughts consuming you, you need the strength to do it.
People may call those who choose to end their life cowards..
They may say that they chose the easy way out, but I disagree.

I'm envious of those who could do it.
To me, they are admirable.
It's a twisted logic on my part but it's how I feel.
You may not understand what I mean, unless you've felt that way before.

Someday, I wish I'll be able to cut away the strings holding me back.
Have the courage to give in to the pain I would feel when it ends.
Bearing everything every single day is killing me inside.
Heck, I'm probably already dead inside.

Of course, I'll continue to act strong.
I'll smile, I'll laugh.
It may all be fake, but so what?
It's my life, and I'll control it.
I'll do what I want with it.
Keep it, or throw it away..
It's my choice.

There's just one other wish I would like to make:

Please let the people I love with all my heart,
My family, my close friends..
Please let them stay healthy, save them from pain, keep them safe.
I'll take the pain for them, so protect them.
That's all I ask for God.

JaNe.

2011-09-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

"My heartbeat accelerates whenever our eyes meet."

HELLO WORLD.
My goodness!
It's been ages, hasn't it?

What should I update about?
Examinations are over.
Hmmm hmmm.
I guess I'll post pictures from the Summer Festival!

This is where all the performances were held.

Just an image of an area in the school!

Dollfies! They look like anime characters! :D

Our lunch that day: Okonomiyaki, Taiyaki & Takoyaki.

Evening rendezvous~! --->

That's all, I guess.
I'll update when something interesting happens in my life.
Which is usually NEVER though.
HAHAHA.

JaNe!

2011-07-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

"I'll love you even in my next life.."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED HUBBY,

TAKAHISA MASUDA!

I love you, and this love will last forever.

JaNe!

2011-06-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

"I don't know how much longer I can take with you acting like you don't know me at all."

Wow.
Hehe, Hello?
I haven't updated in ages.
Been busy with school and just pure laziness on my part.

Half of Semester 3.1 is over.
Before I know it, term break will be over too (-_-)

Anyway.
This is just a short update.
To show I'm still alive, I guess?

Toodles for now.

JaNe!

2011-04-23T21:27:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I wish I had never met you.."

Whoo.
An update after ages.
Anyway, as mentioned on twitter:
I thought I should update on overdue NEWS PV spams.
I didn't have time to do photo updates for NEWS's PVs.
All thanks to Polytechnic life ):

No life now.
Although, it's not like I had one back in Secondary school.
NEWS has practically been my life then & now? HAHA.

Anyway.
I won't spam on kpop here anymore.
I've kind of left the kpop zone.
I still listen to kpop but not much of a fan now.

Jpop is different though.
I will never leave it.
I wouldn't leave it even without NEWS but..
NEWS takes up likes 1/2 my brain in the JPOP category?
HAHAHA.

Anyway, I should start from the most recent PVs.
Then, work backwards ne?
With that said, I'll do NEWS Fighting Man PV first.
Will follow with Tegomasu's Aoi Bench PV (:

PV spam now~
I used the subbed version of the PV,
because my RAW video is in my laptop (-_-)
Hohoho!

Yamapi-niichan!
DAMN long since I last called him that =O

Ryooooo~
The only member I don't exactly love =x
Without him though, NEWS wouldn't be NEWS (:

SHIGE~! :D
He's so stressed from all the bullying he's getting from the others.
HAHAHA.
Am I weird to think this cap is actually CUTE? xP

Yeah, I love me some NEWS everyday.
HEARTS.

When I pic spam the Sakura Girl PV,
I will say that I want Yamapi's phone in that PV!

My 1st best friend, Tegoshi ♥

KOYAMA MAMA ♥

Massu Hubby ♥♥

Shige's actually my 2nd BFF ♥
He is really similar to me, personality-wise!
Maybe it's because we're both A types?
LOL, Koi no ABO.

*chuuuu*

Shige, why so serious?

The dorks that I love with all my heart ♥ ♥ ♥

SHIGEMASU ♥
Actually, Koyashige + Tegomasu = PURE HILARITY.
The 4 of them are BFFs.
No, seriously. HAHAHA.

Epic ending.
Whoo~

That's it for 'Fighting Man'~!
Shall do 'Tegomasu - Aoi Bench' later!

JaNe.

2011-04-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

NEWS sub-unit Tegomasu's turn!
'Aoi Bench' PV spam now :D

----->

Hi Camera No.1 :D

Hi Camera No.2 :D

My hubby is the cutest ♥

My pretty boy 1st BFF ♥

Why are you so pretty? (-_-)
Envy~

High School memories (:
I wish Singapore schools were like Japanese schools.
Shucks.

Not a bad collage ;)

Yes.
The whole point of the PV was this:
A BLUE bench.

HAHA.
No, I'm just joking.
The PV is basically about them reminiscing about their precious memories (:

That's it for now!

JaNe.

2011-03-14T06:26:00.001-07:00

"Dear Japan, I pray for you every day and night."

Things in Japan just seem to be getting worse.
My heart really goes out to them.
I wish I could fly there right now and try to help them ):

I just can't be happy these days.
When I wake up every morning, my first thought is about whether they're okay.
When I'm enjoying myself, I can't truly be happy knowing that they are suffering.

Gosh, seriously.
Why did all that have to happen to Japan?
Plus, it's not technically over yet for them either.
It's so horrible.

I am thankful about a few things though.
Just a short, summarised list:

I am thankful that my beloved NEWS is safe.
I am thankful that all 6 of them are fine & healthy.
I am thankful that the actors,singers and others that I love are safe as well.
I am just really grateful that the people I love in Japan are safe and fine.

Japan, please survive.
Please be well; please protect the rest of your people.
I'll continue to pray every single day that everything will be fine soon.

JaNe.

2011-03-04T15:50:00.000-08:00

"My love will keep going on strong..."

Hello world!
I'm back for good (:

Exams are over & holidays are here!
WHOOPEE.
Although, since holidays are here, that means...
I HAVE MY JAPAN TRIP TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!

YAY YAY YAY YAY.
OMG OMG.
I hope I see my loves there!

NEWS NEWS NEWS!
I MISS YOU FOR BEING MIA AS A GROUP.
I MISS WATCHING YOU GUYS, THANKS TO EXAMS.
I MISS ALL OF YOU YOU 6 GUYS VERY MUCH! :D

My Massu, Tegoshi, Shige, Koyama, Yamapi and Ryo!
WHOOOOOO.
I WISH I COULD SEE THEM IN JAPAN!
I SERIOUSLY WISH TO SEE THEM ):

From Sec 3 till now, they've always been my favourite group.
I believe that will never change even in the future (:

Japan, I am coming for you soon!
Please wait patiently for me!
Hee hee!

On a side note,
I found a cute guy!

Kiriyama Renn~!
He's so cute! 8D

Ahhh,
It's been a long time since I talked about my Jap guys here.
HAHAHA.
Gosh, I miss spamming about them ;)

Well then,
time to sign off.

JaNe.

2011-02-20T21:44:00.000-08:00

"Just once, only once.."

HELLO HELLO.
I met Eileen & Pei Qi for a studying session today!
Exams start this Friday, can't slack away!

We actually went to MP Library but it was packed ):
Headed to Parkway Starbucks from there.
I studied Taxation, Pei Qi studied CMA2 & Eileen..
Well, she did her tutorials.
HAHAHA.

Pei Qi's so hardworking~
HAHAHA. Candid shot ;)

It was a pretty long day for Eileen & me.
I studied till almost 8pm!
SOB, MY BRAIN HURTS FROM ALL THAT TAX TERMINOLOGY.

Well, just a short update.
Heading to school tomorrow for Japan trip stuff.

I will update again next Thursday!
Till then, toodles!

JaNe.

2011-02-17T14:38:00.000-08:00

"I'm standing on the edge of the cliff.."

Exams begin next Friday.
I feel like my brain is going to explode.
So much stress and depression piling up.

I have a request.
Please hear me out.

Please refrain from mentioning my eyecandy to me.
Not even an indirect mention, NOTHING AT ALL.

Right now, I'm standing on the edge of a cliff.
The cliff is also known as my mental state.
A slight nudge will cause me to fall.
I'm trying to be as strong as possible though.

I really cannot afford to lose myself now.
I can't afford to sink into depression.
I can't afford to cry my nights away.

I can't afford to do any of those things so please,
let me be able to survive till the exams are over.

If you make me fall now,
I won't recover for about a month or so.
That's how serious this is right now.

I'm seriously holding myself up just so that I don't breakdown and collapse.
The pain is excruciating, but I have to bear with it.
I'll smile and laugh till the exams are over, if I don't fall now.

So please,
just do that for me.

JaNe.

2011-01-29T03:59:00.000-08:00

"This princess gave up her fairytale..."

On another note.
What makes you so great?
Do you think that you look good with him?
Please, stop dreaming.

If you have the guts to tell me something like that,
I'll share my part of the story.

I don't think you suit him AT ALL (:
Don't you dare unconsciously hurt me & think you'll get away unscathered.

This is what happens when you get on my bad side.
I DON'T LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW.
I won't tell you but if you're smart enough, you'll know (:

Saying things without thinking.
Not even taking into consideration the feelings of the person you're saying it to.
How would you feel if I told you that the guy you liked didn't suit you at all?
Are you going to be happy?
Smile, laugh, joke around?

Don't kid me.
I know you won't feel happy.
My position isn't exactly the same but..
It leads to the same effect ultimately.

Get your act together.
No wonder you fail at psychology.
You can't even tell right from wrong.

JaNe.

2011-01-15T20:37:00.000-08:00

"I'm better off dead than alive.."

Not really an update.
Just a few tweets from my twitter.
This shall sum up everything I feel right now.

WARNING: SUPER DUPER EMO-ISH.
READ ON ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.
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Twitter Updates:

I am utterly depressed right now.
It's at times like this when I wonder why am I in this world when I can't even accomplish what I want?

I'm sorry, I can't keep smiling anymore.
Friday's events will never be forgotten nor make me try harder.
It makes me want to escape forever.

I may smile and say I'm fine.
Laugh even when I'm not happy.
It's the only way to remain strong infront of people.

Since Friday,
I cry every night in my room because I can't stand being in this world,
surrounded by people who have better lives.

I hate people who do better than me in the things I enjoy.
I hate them, hate everything they have that I don't.

I'm jealous, angry and annoyed.
I hate these feelings but I have them because I'm human.

I hate the fact that I'm stupid, useless and pathetic that I can't even do well for what I want.
Someone, just RELEASE ME FROM THIS WORLD.

I can't stand this life anymore.
I want out right now!
I envy people who can throw their lives away easily.
I wish I could do that too.

The mental anguish and stress from everything causes tears to be shed every night;
they will never leave me till I die.
I give up.

Sometimes,
I pray that I never wake up from my deep sleep.

JaNe.

2011-01-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

"I smile because I want you to notice me..."

First week of school is OVER.
Gosh, topics have become more difficult.
UGH.
My tutorial pace hasn't come back yet!
DAMN IT.

I hope it'll come back soon ):
I need it to come back!

Anyway, went over to Sofia's house today.
Helped her with Cost & Management Accounting (:
Hope I was of some help, HAHAHA.

I brought over IF & CMA2 to do.
IF had an internet article, ugh.
CMA2 was like..."What is all this?!"

Damn, the lecture didn't get in my head.
Guess I'll have to get a grip of it soon.
NEED.A.GRIP.SOON.

Anyway, SOFIA.
If you have problems~
Don't forget I'm always around for you to confide in.
Don't forget BFF (:

Take Care world!

JaNe.

2010-12-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

"My heart never belonged to you but I can't forget.."

26th December was a good day.
To a certain extent~

I managed to see you again.
After more than a year?
Wow, it really seems like it's been ages.
Seeing you put my heart to rest.

I've changed so much since you last saw me.
I wish you had seen me that day.
However, it was my fault that you didn't.
Afterall, I chose not to show myself to you.
Even when fate kept making me run into you..

Till this day, I still wonder.
Why did I keep running into you every time I went for your concerts?
I want to believe it was just a coincidence each time but..
Can such coincidences really happen every single time?

You know what though?
There are things that never changed.
How I could recognise you even if you were a mile away..
Yeah, I can still do that.
Just like how I did yesterday when I saw you on stage.

It was my first time seeing you after you went for NS.
Yet, I recognised you in an instant.
Sigh, what I wouldn't give to not be able to do that..
It makes me feel like as if nothing has changed since that day I first met you in October,2006.

I still remember how we met.
I still remember every little stupid thing I did around you.
I still remember how scared I used to be around you.
Gosh, silly me.
I never learned from back then, huh?

However, I think I've changed.
When I saw you after the concert, I was happy.
You hadn't changed, but I had.
I've grown up.
I was able to walk away from you without being scared.
Without feeling depressed.
I was finally able to do that, even if I felt a little sad.

Being able to see you was enough.
I could still smile even after that because I saw you.
I was glad to see that you were fine, just the way you used to be.

Truthfully, I regret my actions in the past.
As much as I did enjoy some of them, I wish I could turn back time.
Turn back to the day I met you and stop myself from going to that place.
That way, I would have never known of your existence (:

I would have never liked you.
I would have never cried myself to sleep a million times cause of you.
I would have never been so depressed.
I would never have continued to like you for 4 years & counting.
I would have never met you.

So many regrets from the past.
So many things I wish to rid myself of but..
It's impossible now.
Time can never turn back.
I can never change the past.

All I can do now is change the future.
We never had a future though.
So, I need to get you out of my life for good.
Once and for all.

I'll definitely do it completely.
Maybe not right now, because it's still not possible.
Someday, I will though.

Someday..
I'll get over you for good.

JaNe.

2010-12-26T17:04:00.000-08:00

"Have a very jolly Christmas~"

CHRISTMAS POST.
Whee!
I said I'd blog abit about Christmas, ne?
Asuka was feeling so gloomy that day though!
Because of the weather ):

Other than Christmas food,
Mum bought Starbucks for me!
As well as STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!

I had some fun as well.
SPARKLERS~
HAHAHAHA.

I received lots of chocolate for Christmas!
I'm eating so much chocolate these days D:

OH OH, BUT...
Enjoyed drinking in a wine glass on Christmas.
Ah, felt so high-class~
hee hee!

Yummy~

I ate good food too!
Didn't take any pictures because I forgot xP
SORRY SORRY.

Well, a short update.
Till next time!

JaNe.

2010-12-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

"Back for more or less than never~"

I'M BACK.
WHEE, CELEBRATE.
Mid-semester exams are over ;)

I met my Bimbs on Sunday.
We checked out Bedok Point.
Oh.my.gosh.

I am NEVER going back there again.
It's pathetic (-_-)
I need not say more.

Anyway, we made Christmas cards for each other!
HAHA.
They were really simple ones with bad drawings~
Since we didn't have enough materials to use ):

Bimbs gave me a ring too.
HAHAHA.
'My little pony' ring~

MY LITTLE PONY, HAHA.

Bimbs showing off her ring~

Well, that's it for this post.
I didn't post any pictures of me cause they were UNGLAM =x

JaNe.

2010-12-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

"All I want for Christmas is you~"

FREEDOM.
I'M BACK FOR YOU.
HELLO HELLO.

Examinations were hell.
I went through some ups and downs.

In the end, I'm still alive but barely breathing.
HAHA.

I need some Karaoke & Starbucks soon!
Plus, it's only December but..

APRIL is coming soon!
(Ignoring the fact that final sem exams will take place before that~)
JAPAN, I'M COMING FOR YOU SOON.
JUST ABOUT 4 MONTHS AWAY.

WHEE.
SHOPPING.
DISNEYLAND.
EATING.
TAKING LOADS OF PICTURES.
~~STUDYING~~.

The main reason I'm going there is to study, sheesh.
It's the thing I'm least looking forward to~
BUT HEY!
I am interested to see what their Stock Exchange and Universities look like (:
Plus, the other places we're going to~
Hee hee!

That's all for the update.
Toodles!

JaNe.

2010-11-26T21:49:00.000-08:00

"The road that leads me to you came to a stop."

Apologies.
It's been almost a week?

I've been sick.
REALLY SICK.
*depressed*

I probably fell sick on Monday.
It became worse on Tuesday ):
After heading home, slept for awhile.
Decided to go to school on Wednesday.

Conclusion from my actions?
BAD IDEA.
After heading home on Wednesday,
I became REALLY sick.

I had a really high fever & breathing problems,
Thanks to all the coughing & my asthma issues.
My cold was really bad too.
Head was throbbing with so much pain that my eyes kept tearing until I really started crying.
My eyes became so bloodshot ):

I nearly collapsed on Wednesday, sigh.
Bad bad memories.
Ugh.

Thankfully, staying home these past two days has helped.
My fever's pretty much gone.
My head is still throbbing but it's not as bad as before.
Coughing has subsided slightly, and my cold is slightly better too.

Hopefully, I'll fully recover by Monday (:
Chances are low, but I can wish right?
Hahaha.

Alright.
That's it for now.

PS: Thank you to everyone who wished/prayed for my recovery (:

JaNe.

2010-11-20T16:04:00.000-08:00

"Thank you for loving me."

BIRTHDAY POST.
Long overdue eh?
HAHAHA.

Firstly.
From my beloved FLOWERS & cliques.

SHI MIN.
Thank you for the chocolate kisses 8D
Plus, the letter!
I LOVE the 'Sondra loves Massu' on the box.
You know how to make me happy, hee hee ;)

FLOWERS.
Thank you for the hand-made card.
HAHA.
With cute drawings done by PeiQi :D
Many little mentions of Yuya too~ Hee.
I ate the medium-sized choco kisses already =x
(That's why the box is empty..)

I just want to say one thing!
Thank you for putting up with me these past two years :D
I know I'm such a troublesome person ;
I'm fussy & stubborn all the time.
HEHEHE.

That's why, for loving me despite that..
THANK YOU LOVELY FLOWERS.

Lastly.
To my lovely & awesome bff, SOFIA.

Thank you for the journal.
Thank you for the friendship necklace.
Thank you for the lovely card.
Thank you for the two cakes I ate that day!
Thank you for the friendship band in advance!
(Since you keep forgetting to bring it~)

BFF, thank you so much.
Thanks for being there for me when I'm down.
For trying to make me a happy person.
HAHAHA.
We've been through a lot together, huh?

Primary school days.
We were enemies?
You used to pick on me & I used to ignore you.
Always calling me small/short eventhough you were too.
HAHAHA.

Secondary school days.
We ended up sitting beside each other in Sec 3.
You tried to be nice to me, but I ignored you.
I acted really cold towards you back then.
Afterall, you were a meanie in Primary school!
HAHAHA.

Of course, you never gave up on becoming my friend!
HAHA.
You really tried, huh?
The silly things you did!

Paying $0.30 to take a sip of my drink!
Giving me maple cash for stuff.
Always helping me buy food~!
Singing retarded Harry Potter songs to cheer me up.
Laughing our heads off over you attracting worms during class.
Me pointing my penknife at you whenever you disturbed me.
Separating our tables whenever we quarreled.
Random pushing and pulling.
You falling on your butt from all the push&pull nonsense.
Amanda & Zara laughing at us from behind.
Forcing you to study properly during study dates!

Oh my gosh.
There are many OTHER retarded things too!
I can't type everything out though!
HAHA.

But seriously.
Only YOU could put up with this, 'at times 'loony' BFF of yours.
HAHAHA.
Thank you for sticking with me all these years.
Thanks for always lecturing me about how I'm pretty, blah blah blah.
Thanks for always trying to BRIGHTEN my life.
Thank you for NEVER GIVING UP ON ME & LOVING ME FOR ME!

YOU'RE MY TREASURED BFF & I LOVE YOU.
Thank you for entering my life!
I'm sure we were definitely meant to reach where we are now together :D
Afterall, we go way back~
Since our parents are 'friends' right?
HAHA!

Alright alright.
This was an uber long post.
LOVELY FRIENDS WHO WISHED ME BY SMS/FB/IN SCHOOl,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I appreciate every single wish.
Thank you (:

JaNe.

2010-11-19T23:27:00.000-08:00

"You only have one chance to make it right.."

Just a short update.
I haven't blogged much.
Birthday post will be delayed.
GOMENASAI ):

Anyway.
I watched HARRY POTTER with Bimbs today ;)
THE MOVIE WAS AWESOME!
HAHAHA.

Just before that.
I met BFF for a short studying session!
SOFIA, I STILL LOVE YOU.
Eventhough we didn't watch HP together, OKAY.
HAHA!

Elective selection is tomorrow.
Investment!
I'm going to get you!
HEE :D

Shall drop by KC for awhile as well.
Probably in the afternoon?
Whoo~

That's it.
FOR NOW.

JaNe.

2010-11-09T20:27:00.000-08:00

"It's everything & nothing at all."

I'm so tired.
Projects, school and life.
Can I just throw everything away?
I'm sick & tired of living a life I hate.
I'm sick and tired of being me.

I think I'm ugly.
I hate myself.
Truthfully,
there is NOTHING that I like about myself.

I'm tired of faking a smile when I'm down.
Smiling so that nobody notices,
The amount of negative emotions swirling inside me.

At the same time,
I dislike it when people tell me to change.
WHY WHY?
Am I not good enough the way I am?

Another random note.
You know what?
I'm tired of always trying to match your schedule.
Once in awhile, why not try to match mine?
I have a schedule too, you know.

Plus plus.
I'm tired of having people cancel on me.
OR people saying they want to do something but don't.
I really am so tired of all that crap.

You know what?
If you actually need me in your life,
then call me.
I'm sick & tired of being the one who has to try.

JaNe.

2010-11-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

"You're my heart and soul."

A video post.
All for Yuya-loving 8D
I was rewatching KuroMyu 2.

Decided to post up my fav songs from the musical :D
HEE HEE.

Sebastian/Yuya - Keiyaku (Contract)

SebaCiel/Yuya&Nishii - Black & White

Sebastian/Yuya - Ai wo Chimamire (Love is covered in Blood)

Sebastian/Yuya - Sen no Tamashi to Ochita Shinigami

I loved the theme song too 8D
Decided not to post it though.
NISHII IS SO DAMN CUTE!
HAHAHA.

Just because I've never posted Yuya's PVs here,
I'll just post his latest one.

Matsushita Yuya - 4 Seasons

ゆやくんがだいすき!!
Hee hee!
LOVES.

JaNe.

2010-11-03T19:58:00.000-07:00

"You won't last forever in my world."

あなたはしっていますか?

私はあなたに対する気持ちのため痛みを感じます。

あなたはほしいどんなひともすきであることができます。
つかれています。
したがって、それはじゅうぶんです。

わたしはつよいです。

わたしは、なきもしませんし、かなしくしもしないでしょう。
あなたなしでいどうするつもりです。

I won't let myself fall prey to unwanted feelings.
I have to pick myself up.
I have to keep going, even if it kills me.

I won't let you stand in the way.
I won't let you pull me down.
I'll get over it, I'm sure.

JaNe.

2010-10-31T14:29:00.000-07:00

" Ghouls and scarecrows come around ; "

So freaking cute!
I wish I could dress my dog like that too, HEH.

IT'S HALLOWEEN.
HALLOWEEN CANDY.
I want some too ):

It's days like this that I wish I could go overseas.
Go 'trick-or-treat', and come back :D

ANYWAY.
I was planning to go out today.
Thanks to a damn migraine and shit, I had a change of plans.
I'm staying HOME.

HOWEVER.
I still want to dress up!
I shall do so :D
I blogged some pictures I took after dressing up today ;)

My horns do glow, heh.

Mum looks unglam in this, AWW.
My mum's really pretty in reality okay?!
HAHA.

Whee.
In the end, a mix of a Vampire/Devil?
HAHA.

I didn't put any gothic makeup on, just so you know.
I was at home obviously.
So, no makeup since it's not worth wasting it at home.
HAHA.

Well, till next time.
Toodles!

JaNe.

2010-10-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

" The eyes tell no lies ; "

You know?
Sometimes, I wonder how I got where I am today.
When I look through my textbooks nowadays,
I think to myself,
"When was I ever smart? Gosh. How did I end up here?"

Investments book, Corporate Reporting & Audit books.
THICK, BORING BOOKS.
RIGHT RIGHT?

HAHAHA.
Seriously though.
I really wonder!
How in the world did I end up where I am today?
JUST HOW?

I don't think I'm smart at all ):
On the contrary.
I think I'm rather stupid (-_-)

Afterall, I wasn't able to get into 3/2 last time.
REMEMBERING BAD MEMORIES.
UGH.
I WASN'T SMART ENOUGH, HOOOOH?

Anyway.
NEWS's new PV is out! :D
Check it out?
I think it's catchy after listening to it a load of times!

Well.
I'm thinking about the places to visit in Japan.
I've picked out a few malls & shops in Shibuya.
SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES THERE = DREAM COME TRUE!

Alicia wants to go to an indoor baseball center?
HAHAHA.
If we find one, alright?
I think I'll need to buy a map soon =X

Alright.
I'm ending this post now.
I've got things to take care of.
Sleepy sleepy.

PS: I NEED MY STUDY PARTNER FOR STARBUCKS STUDY DATES! ):

JaNe.

2010-10-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

"You're my special someone.."

Investment!
I'm taking that cluster, most probably.
I'm the only one in my clique taking that ):
SOB SOB.

Moving on to something else.
YUYAAAAAAAA.
Hehe!

I know you love this picture too right , Pei Qi? 8D

He's awesome, hoho!
I love the fact that Japanese are not fake (:
Most of them have natural good looks & I love it!

*ogles at him*

School is really tiring.
I need to distress in such ways, forgive me.

Off to sleep now.
Take care!

JaNe.

2010-10-22T04:09:00.000-07:00

"Silence was never a form of acceptance."

Whee.
Short update.

I met up with BFF Sofia yesterday.
We just met up for some ranting.
Okay.
LOADS of ranting.
haha!

I gave her a small present.
Hope she liked it ;)

Snagged the picture from Sofia.

Anyway.
This coming Monday is a free day.
I need to go to school though ):
I have to get a CDS added to my timetable.
Bloody hell.

My friend got Japanese for her CDS.
We did our CDS submition together & YET..
She gets her first choice while I get zilch?
WHERE IS THE WORD 'FAIR' IN THAT?

SIGH.
Oh well.

School's starting.
It's depressing.
I'm missing my holidays already.

No more waking up at 12+pm D:
No more sleeping late.
SOB SOB.

Well.
Toodles for now.

JaNe.

2010-10-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

"Regret is hating yourself ;"

Okay, crap.
I'm not supposed to emo anymore.
WHY AM I EMO-ING?
Bad natural habits are hard to drop ):

When I get unpleasant thoughts,
I start thinking and thinking, and thinking.
It never ends.

Staring at myself in a mirror,
I feel like breaking it into pieces.
Oh well.

You know, I'm regretting right now.
I regret never telling you I liked you.
At least, I could have lost contact with you &..
You'd at least have full awareness of my feelings.
I would have felt better that way.

Right now, the way things are..
It's quite depressing.

Then, there's YOU.
Hope is not in my dictionary.
Don't ask me to hope.
Hoping will only make the pain worse.
Therefore, I will never hope.

The End.

JaNe.

2010-10-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

"I might be the happiest person alive right now, along with a few others;"

I'M FREAKING HAPPY NOW.
I COULD DANCE AROUND THE ROOM SINGING 'OOHLALA~'.

So anyway.
PHOENIX WRIGHT & LAYTON WILL BE IN THE SAME GAME.
Most probably, fighting the bad guys together?
OMG, SAVE ME.
I COULD JUST DIE FROM HAPPINESS.

JUST LOOK AT HOW AWESOME THIS IS.
LEVEL5 x CAPCOM IS SUCH A DAMN TEASEEEEEE~

Who knew they'd get a game together?
THEY GET TO FINGER-POINT TOGETHER :D
HOW LOVELY.

What's the overall bad part about this?
It's for 3DS, the 3D version of NDS.
SHIT SHIT.
I need to save MONEY for my BABY.

Oh yes.
I found this highly epic.
Comment by toshi at http://kotaku.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"And that solves the puzzle."

"OBJECTION!"

"What? Are you questioning my logic?"

"There is obviously a contradiction here! Look!

"What do you mean there's a contradiction? I just solved the damn thing. Do you not know who I am? I'm Professor Fucking Layton. Puzzle was solved bitch."

"Well I'm Phoenix Wright, the Ace Fucking Attorney, and there's a contradiction."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can totally IMAGINE them doing this ;)
(MINUS the vulgarities on Layton's side, he's a gentleman!)

I wonder though.
WHO DO I PLAY AS IN THIS GAME?
WHAT IS THE GAME MODE LIKE?
PW style or PL style?
This intrigue makes it all the more AWESOME <3

To people who don't know or haven't played these games,
YOU MISS OUT ON A LOT.
BOTH game series are AWESOME.
They are worth the time and effort to complete.
If you're the type who thinks games are for losers,
THINK AGAIN.
These games test your intellectual level in some sense.
They are not games that you gain NOTHING from.

I'm a GAMER, so maybe my view is slightly biased.
I love these kind of games though.
They excite me, entice me..
I LOVE THEM <3

Alright.
I'll just end this post with a link to the 3DS game official trailer.
HEH.

JaNe.

2010-10-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

"Chocolates and kisses, tasty~"

Yesterday was fun :D
Mum fetched Yuhui & me to Kallang Leisure Park for yogurt.
After that, we went to the Esplanade to feast at the library ;)

Mmm~
Looks good, yesh? :D

We slacked away at the Concourse area.
Talked about a certain 'someone' I used to chase.
Planned our little heist for a December breakthrough.
It's good to plan early :D

Hopefully, our plan for December's surprise visit will be successful~
HAHAHA 8D

Then, we headed to the Roof Terrace.
It was freaking HOT up there.
Even in the SHADE D<

We tried doing our own photoshoot.
HAHAHA.
FUNNY, SERIOUSLY.

I think these photos look damn nice :D

Shouldn't I be a model? HAHA.
JUST JOKING xP

Oh yes.
I cannot end this post without saying this:
MY HUBBY IS THE CUTEST THING & IT'S A FACT.

That's it for now.
Toodles.

JaNe.

2010-10-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

"Riddles almost always make a difference."

안녕하세요~
I just woke up.
Heh.

This is what I look like at home,
if you were wondering!
Yeah yeah, I'm a nerdy girl most of the time xD

Anyway.
I'm watching PK right now.
It's pretty obvious that the wedding will take place in the last episode (:
Ah well.

It's cute to finally SEE Seung Jo & Ha Ni together.
Truthfully though, I pity Hae Ra & Joon Gu.
I love both of them so it's sad to see them so DEPRESSED.

Eventhough many people hate Hae Ra, I can see that she's a nice & fun person.
She's really likeable to me :D
As for Joon Gu,
he's just really cute when he's in love.
Awww~

난 당신을 생각 내가 좋아하는 아직.
아마도 상상력은 내?
그래도 난 비밀을 할 생각이 없습니다.
내가 슬퍼요 ..
난 불안감을 느낀다.
나도 궁금해, 혼자 있고 거기에 내가?
그것은 우울입니다. 정말입니다.

Alright.
I'll update some other time.

JaNe.

2010-10-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

"It's a brand new beginning and It's all I've been waiting for.."

KOMBANWA.
It's a brand new month!
It's the month of Halloween~
I want to dress up ):

I've been thinking.
A Devil or a Vampire?
I've got a Dracula cape & Devil Horns.
I can't wear fangs though, it's too hard!
So maybe, I should stick to being a devil?

AHH. I SHOULD JUST BE A WITCH.
EVEN BETTER!
I'd need to buy a hat though, damn it.

I've been staying home most of the time.
Too lazy to go out.
I met up with BFF, Bimbs and Zara though (:

By the way.
BFF, I didn't get to rant to you that day ):
SIGH.

Oh yes.
RANDOM but..
Days when I like my hair best?
When I wash it :D
It's damn flat when I don't..
HAHAHA.

Alrighty.
It's time for farewell.
Toodles!

JaNe.

2010-10-04T22:17:00.000-07:00

"We wish for more than what we can get.."

Okay, maybe I was trying to act like Sebastian in this picture?
HAHA. Yuya's influence x)

Whee.
I cut my hair today.
Like, finally?
I even layered & rebonded it.

You could say,
It's part of being the NEW me?
HAHA.

I apologise for camwhoring.
Sincerely, I apologise.
Heh.

I realised something recently.
I met up with my awesome buddies recently for GAMING, somewhat :3
Most of their lives are so interesting!
They've got boy troubles and such.
What about me??

My life is BORING apparently -.-
There isn't any real drama unlike my friends!
I want some actually drama in my life too ):
Boohoo..

I feel so sleepy now.
Sat in the salon chair for 3 hours + straight.
WHO WOULDN'T BE TIRED? ):

Well, I shall update some other day.
Toodles till then!

JaNe.

2010-09-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

"I'm going to move on proudly and confidently.."

It's good to know.
To know who your true friends are.
You learn a lot from reality.

There were so many unpleasant memories in Secondary school.
I'm so happy.
SO FREAKING HAPPY TO JUST THROW AWAY SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE.
Proud of me? I know :D

I'm going to forget everything about those days.
From Day 1 of Secondary 1 to Day # of Secondary 5.
Everything, even happy days, I'm throwing all of them away.

I've realised that there is no point living in the past.
Especially when you're the only one standing still,
As everyone else moves on.
That is why, Sondra, you were used by the people you trusted best.
You are a fool.

I've made up my mind.
I'm throwing away those days.
I'm moving on.

I'm not going to let myself feel down anymore.
I'm not going to let the past get to me.
That past is over.
I'm throwing it away.

True friends, no matter what, won't change towards you.
They won't chuck you to a corner when someone new comes along.
Even if there is a distance between them & you, they will always be by your side.

You guys have changed so much towards me.
All those things I've listed right above,
I've failed to see.
That is why, I'm throwing our past together away.
It's over, for good.

I'm not going to live in the past anymore.
As you all continue to move forward, laughing and having fun together without me.

I have finally decided to carry out my resolution.
I will stand by it firmly.
That is how I will live from now on.

'It's going to be hard to carry out what I have decided to do but I'll get through it, definitely.'

'It took me years, to put into action, my resolution to do what I've always needed to do and I'm going to stand by it even it hurts me.'

JaNe.

2010-09-19T05:13:00.000-07:00

"Once upon a time, I liked the life I had.."

WHOO.
It's been ages since I last updated?
Gosh, time flies!
Exams are over!
Holidays are here!

I've spent the first week playing Harvest Moon.
MY GOSH, I'VE BEEN PLAYING IT 24/7.
I GAVE UP REAL LIFE FOR MY VIRTUAL 2D FARMING LIFE.
HECK, THE GUYS ARE CUTE.
WHAT SHOULD I SAY? ;)

Here's one of the scenes from the game :D
I AM GOING TO MARRY THAT CUTE BOY IN THIS VIDEO <3

I've already completed a YEAR in the game.
I'm raising all the bachelor's hearts to max first though, before I marry xP
HEH.

Anyway, real life is dull.
OH, BUT..
I'm meeting my awesome bestest buddies soon!
On Tuesday & Wednesday!
YAY YAY.

I have so much to rant on about!
SO MUCH TO GET OFF MY CHEST.
SO MUCH TO THROW OUT OF MY LIFE.
BE READY!

Alright then.
Before I end off, please give this song from my Hubby's group a listen!
It's really a beautiful song & it won't hurt to listen to it once, right?
So please do!

Thank you, and..
I'm off.

JaNe!

2010-08-17T22:59:00.000-07:00

"I wish for nothing more than to die..."

I'm crying again.
I'm crying.
Why the hell do I let everything break through my armor?
I'm supposed to keep that barrier up.
That barrier of strength.
Why the hell does it have to break so easily?

I keep trying to stay strong.
I'm trying so hard.
But why?
Why is it that the harder I try, the more painful it becomes?

There is no one to turn to.
Nobody to be the shoulder that can share my burden.
I don't seem to have such friends now.
Even my best friends have left me all alone.
All of my friends, they don't care about me.
I'm not important to them.
This is what runs through my head all the time now.

I think I've really lost myself along the path of life.
I don't even feel that I deserve to like the people I adore.
I don't deserve to like anyone.
The more I look at them, the more I cry.

I feel so lost, so pathetic, so unwanted.
I don't think I need to be in this world.
I believe that even if I ceased to exist, nobody would care.
That's what I believe.

I hate myself.
I hate everything about myself.
Just stop breathing,girl..

You know, I've always wondered why it's so hard to be human.

JaNe.

2010-08-04T14:52:00.000-07:00

"All those smiles make my day.."

This is SO DELAYED but..
ANYWAY -->

<3<3<3

I'm SORRY.
There are no other words to describe my feeling 8D

<3

JaNe.

2010-07-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

"I would rather die than be alive in this world.."

JUST SHUT THE FREAK UP.
SEEING THOSE COMMENTS..
HOW MUCH DO I NEED TO TAKE?

STOP FREAKING COMPLAINING.
STOP TALKING LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE DAMN WORLD.
STOP PISSING THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

.
.
.

Sorry, the remaining of the post is PRIVATE.
Only people who are my friends in livejournal can read it.
OR, you can PM me & ask to read it.
I may/may not say alright.

[ http://sakuraki91.livejournal.com ]

Why, some may ask?
It may/may not refer to certain people who read my blog.
That's all I will say.

JaNe.

2010-07-23T23:17:00.000-07:00

"It's too difficult to go on.."

It's tough.
Living in this world, it's tough.
How many times have I thought about disappearing?
How many times do I have to envy others for finding happiness?

Why doesn't happiness exist for me?
Where is it?
I bet it will never exist for me.

Sometimes, I think I lose it.
Truthfully, I really do at times.

I just start crying out of the blue.
I just laugh for no reason.
I totally chopped up a box with a penknife?
No, like seriously.
I did that.

Can someone just help me escape?
I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't want to go through so much..
Just like in the past.

I don't want to be the person I used to be.
The person who wished for suicide 24/7.
It's a cowardly way to escape and yet, the best.

I need to break out of this pain.
Why the hell do I have to be in the HATEFUL WORLD?

I hate you.
All of you.
I hate this life too.
I hate everyone who rubs their happiness in my face.

I wonder if I could destroy your happiness?
Feel the torture I've been going through all these years.
Oh, how sweet that would be.
You may not know, but revenge is bittersweet.

Crushing you all because you flaunt away in my face..
I WANT TO CRUSH IT ALL.
I love you guys and yet, I hate you guys for treating me the way you do.

Why can't life be fair?
Why must everyone else get what they want, BUT NOT ME?
I hate myself, oh gosh, so much.

JaNE.

2010-06-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

"Your smile is my everything.."

HELLO.
I've got a new look now :D
I'm sporting bangs!
haha!

Anyway.
I feel like I've neglected Hubby since school started ):
THEREFORE.
I dedicate this post to him!
I still love him EVEN IF he's not always on my mind 24/7 xD

Tegomasu! Aww man.
Look at Massu's smile (*_*)

I HEART my dork!

My fascination for pigs?
It's because of the boy I love~

SHUCKS.
I GIVE IN TO THIS CUTENESS!

Whenever I feel sad,
Your smile will be the first one I turn to.
So please!
Keep smiling just like you always have.
I love love you, Massu~ :D

JaNe!

2010-06-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

"It was just a crush gone wrong.."

Picture update.
From study sessions!

LAB study session!

This was damn candid -.-

Too bad we didn't take any at PeiQi's house!
It's alright :D
We have all the time...
Once End-sems are OVER.

JaNe!

2010-06-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

"It was only great for a moment..."

I'm finally having a break.
Technically, you could say.

I shall be in school for the next two days.
Projects, projects, projects.
What a life, seriously.

I wish life would end.
I can't be bothered to keep holding on,
especially when everything is going wrong.

Why should I pretend to be strong?
Does it look like I benefit from that?
That's bullshit.

Oh yes.
What's even worse is that a drama is pissing me off.
FOR THE FIRST TIME.
I'm so fed up with the fans!
GROW UP GROW UP GROW UP.
Stop dissing other leads just because you have a favourite.
IT'S LIKE FREAKING CHILDISH.

Plus.
You all are TOTALLY ruining my mood to watch the drama.
I have a favourite too but do I diss the other lead?
I DON'T BECAUSE I HAVE RESPECT FOR OTHER VIEWERS OPINIONS.

If you want to diss,
DO IT AT HOME, ON YOUR BLOG OR WHATEVER.
JUST DON'T DO IT WHERE OTHER VIEWERS CAN OBVIOUSLY SEE & WILL SEE.

I'm sick & tired of everything.

JaNe.

formspring.me

2010-06-01T00:30:00.001-07:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/sakuraki

2010-05-30T12:03:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of living life this way..."

UPDATE.
An actual update.
Awesome, huh?

I met my KC friends after AGES.
SOFIA, AMANDA, ZARA & CLARISSA~!
Here are some pictures from yesterday!

Only posted pictures I don't look unglam in =X
Well, till 4th June!

JaNe!

2010-05-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

"I will move on before it gets any worse.."

Mid-Semester tests start next week.
What a life, huh?

My two-weeks break will be packed with PROJECTS.
I haven't started on any projects:
- Computerised Accounting System
- Legals Aspects of Business
- Partnership & Company Accounts

I HATE ALL THE PROJECTS THIS SEM! (T_T)
Don't even get me started on Entrepreneurship!
That is the utmost WORST.
Can I use the idea of a bookshop cafe? =x

Alright.
Life practically sucks right now.
Hopefully, I'll recover by 10am on 4th June.

JaNe.

2010-05-14T14:06:00.000-07:00

"It never turns out the way I want.."

Starbucks (v)
I want more Starbucks study dates soon ):
I need my caffeine addiction.
STARBUCKS~!

I'm eating a slab of chocolate.
Right NOW.
Yum yum.

I wonder to myself at times:
Just how do you tell fact from fiction?
You notice things that catch your attention.
You notice that something's different.
Yet, you can't help but wonder if it's just your imagination.
Why couldn't there be a way to tell fantasy from reality?

A clue, a clue would be good.
You don't want everything you notice to be just your imagination.
Especially the good things, right?
I want to know the truth.
Am I just thinking too much or is it true?
I wish you would just tell me.
I wish, but it'll never happen huh.

JaNe.

2010-05-07T15:29:00.000-07:00

"I loved you even if it couldn't be forever.."

The baby boy who was always there for me.
Do you know?
When you passed away, I was sleeping.
I didn't know you had already left the world that Tuesday morning.

The message from my brother shook my heart violently.
I stared and stared at it, trying to register the words.
All of a sudden, the tears wouldn't stop.

I couldn't be there for you on your last day.
I couldn't spend time with you before you left.
I couldn't see you before you were buried.
All I'm left with are the happy memories you gave me.

All those moments when you would eat cabbage from my hands.
Play around & act cute in the cage, in my hands..
In my heart, it aches so much.
Why couldn't you wait for me to give you my final goodbye?
Why couldn't you just wait?

I held back the tears in school.
I couldn't be a mess there.
Once home, I locked myself in my room.
I cried my eyes out.
I cried and I cried, wondering why you left me before saying goodbye.

I'll never be able to see you again.
I can't help but cry as I type this post as well.
I hope you are fine on the other side.
I'll hope to see you in my dreams.
Just someday, I hope.

JaNe.

2010-05-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes a friend, sometimes a stranger.."

Here I am.
People are nagging at me to update.
HAHA.

As much as I want to take Finance in future,
It'll be a rough course.
I think I need to have a tutor for Business Finance (-.-)
Nothing really goes into my head during lectures.
Anyone care to volunteer?

Oh yes.
I really want to play 'Game Over'!
Oh oh, PT fans should know the game 8D
I want to play the game too~
Revenge followed by a final 'Game Over' to end it all.
Please do cue in actions just like the original though (*_*)
That would make me ever so happy.
HEE :3

Alright.
That's about it for now.

JaNe.

2010-04-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

"Believe it when you see it for yourself ; "

School School School.
It's what I live for, apparently.

First week of school was hell.
I fell sick on Tuesday.
I'm recovering after 4 days!
UGH.

Oh well.
At least!
I've got eye goodies to look forward to every week.
Wednesday & Thursday are good days for squeels 8D
Yummy, yummy eye candies~
Hee.

Just to add some 'taste' to my post before I disappear:

*dies from cuteness overload*
8D

Alright.
Enough deviating from my actual reason to post.

JaNe.

2010-04-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

"Lost it all by just wishing you were part of my world.."

School has started.
Class is "interesting".
To say the least.

I'll enjoy this week though.
Why why?
It's lectures ONLY.
No class bonding sessions yet.
Hahaha.

OH BY.THE.WAY.
My class is girl dominated.
There are 16 girls & 6/7 guys?
It's a huge difference!

The school should really learn to tally the genders (-.-)

JaNe.

2010-04-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

"The pain you'd never feel unless you're in that person's shoes.."

God, tell me why.
Tell me why I had to be born this way.
I hate myself so much.

I hate myself to such an extent that I wish I could just claw away my skin and burn it.
I hate everything about myself.
Why, you wonder?

Because.
I hate being recognised as something I'm not.
I hate people who make me feel like a fool.
Having to tell people what I am & what I am not.
It makes me lose faith in myself.

I'm crying.
I'm hurting.
I'm human too.
Why can't people just understand!?
How insulting it is for someone to be recognised as something you're not even the least bit of?

For example.
Imagine if I thought you were GAY/BI/LESBIAN but you're obviously not.
ARE YOU GOING TO JUST ACCEPT THAT CALMLY?!

It's the exact same feeling.
It hurts your pride, your self-being.
It's so painful that I wish my heart would just stop beating.
It's like a knife wound being stabbed over & over again.

The barrier I wrapped around my heart is breaking.
I've been trying so hard to be strong.
TRYING SO DAMN HARD.
I can't do it though.
I really can't.

I just want this life gone & over right now.

JaNe.

2010-04-14T19:25:00.000-07:00

"Give it to me love baby, I love you.."

I'm too lazy to blog.
PERIOD.

Anyways.
School is starting on Monday.
The timetable will be out tomorrow.
SIGH.

I really hope we don't change classes.
I prefer sticking with my poly clique D:
I get to fuss and be picky with them, heh.
I do it cause I love you guys okay 8D

ERHEM.
I'll be meeting Celena onee-chan tomorrow!
I haven't met up with her even once in 8 years.
I look forward to Sushi tomorrow, onee-chan~!

Oh yes.
I need to meet up with bff Sofia soon.
WOMAN, WHEN'S OUR DATE?
HAHA.
Plan it soon or else, we'll be occupied with school!

Plus.
I promised Amanda a study session meet up soon!
Cause we haven't met up at all during the holiday!
STUDY STUDY, BIMBO.

JaNe!

2010-04-06T10:40:00.000-07:00

" I give in to you because I love you ; "

JaNe.

2010-04-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

"There has to be a way to prove the innocent from the weak.."

JaNe.

2010-04-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

"Everyday is just another hurdle to overcome.."

It's a new month.
I'm thankful yet dreadful of it.
I had to start it off badly.
Cue vomiting & lots more vomiting.
Maybe it's the end for me?
I wish.

I'm thankful for April though.
The animes of two of my favourite manga came out!
Kaichou wa Maid-sama & Uraboku!(short form)
As well as the second season of Oofuri!

I've watched the 1st episode of KwM-sama & Oofuri.
Oofuri was alright, cause I got to see Abe 8D
No AbeMiha moments, but lots of TajiMiha.
HAHA.
It's alright.
Episode 2 looks more promising!
As usual, Abe shall be his scary self~
I love him that way though :D
BESIDES.
How could you not love Abe when his seiyuu is Nakamura Yuichi~!

Kaichou wa Maid-sama was good.
I prefer the manga art though cause Usui's gorgeous in it~ *swoon*
However, the chibis in the anime are looking ADORABLE.
I'm grateful it's even been made into an anime :D

LASTLY.
Uraboku? I've yet to find the 1st episode raw D:
Shucks, I want to see Luka ):
Where's my pretty demon boy?
Please lead me to him.
Haha.

Alright.
I'll be ending this post now.
My body's in bad condition so I should rest.

PS:
If you don't care about me,
I don't want to bother myself with trying to get your attention.
I'm tired of trying to find my way into your life & losing myself in the process.
Sometimes, I think I should do the waiting, not you.

JaNe.

2010-03-31T22:21:00.000-07:00

" Even while wishing for death, we hope to live as well..."

Please leave me alone.
Please stop torturing me.
Even after all I go through at home,
I have to put on a smile when I meet people outside?
I hate that even though I always do it.

Being "happy" drains my energy.
When that happens, all I want to do is to stay in my room and lock the door.
I want to keep away from human contact.
It tires me.
It drains me.
Humans, they do that to me.

Also.
I don't like being a replacement for someone else.
Please, just stop making me feel that way because it hurts.
Please don't make it seem that way if it isn't.
It always seems like that from the way I look at it.
However, my glass is always half empty so it could be..
I just view things from bottom to top.

I'm sorry.

JaNe.

2010-03-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

"Using the law to save the innocent ; that is a lawyer."

Gosh.
I watched Kaiji on Thursday.
Yes, the one with the Death Note cast.
I realised how much I loved Tatsuya's 'Light' character over 'Kaiji'.
HAHA.
Kaiji's such a loser BUT..
He still has brains 8D
The damn card battle at the end put me at the edge of my seat.
Like seriously.

Plus,I was quite sad Kenichi(L Lawliet) didn't get to survive all the way D8
Oh well~
At least we'll see him again in Tegoshi & Maki's movie which will be coming to cinemas SOON~
YAY YAY.

OH YES.
Random but...
That reminds me!
There was a doujinshi I read from my 'Miles Edgeworth Case Files' .
That mangaka made her doujin seriously Shoujo.
HAHA.
No, I mean it.
I'll scan the doujin once I get my book back from my friend.
It'll be back in my hands tomorrow 8D
On second thought, I won't scan it, too lazy.
I'll post it in GS lj someday.
HAHA.

Whee.
Look forward to a chibi cute, gay-ish, and handsome Phoenix & Miles~ *hearts*

On another note.
Yamanade has ended!
The last episode was so cute & an adorable BAWL-fest.
No more handsome Kyouhei to watch now ):

Nevermind.
I've got loads of other Kdramas & Jdramas to watch.
I'll survive~

Moving on.
I can't wait for Oofuri Season 2!
APRIL 1ST!

I miss Abe Takaya xD
I miss my Abe/Mihashi BATTERY!
I have a feeling the one-sided Chiyo/Abe thing will happen in this season.
As much as I dislike it~

'Uragiri wa Boku no Namae wo Shitteiru''s anime will be coming out too.
As well as Kaichou wa Maid-sama's anime!
YAY YAY.
LUKA & USUI~ *hearts*

I shall end this post with this cute gif:

~~~~ xD

JaNe.

2010-03-11T21:03:00.000-08:00

"Feeling so lost without a path to walk on.."

I've been out almost everyday!
5 days in a week!
Today is my first day of rest for the week :D
I'll be out on Saturday with my dear DPA mates!
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM <33

Moving on.
Here are delayed pictures with friends from Wednesday's outing to Orchard 8D

HAHA.
I PHAIL at 'Objection!'~

NERDS FOR THE DAY!

I love Andrea's Glasses!
The pair I'm wearing 8D

Results will be out tomorrow.
All TP students:
GANBATTE!
HWAITING!
JIAYOU!

JaNe!

2010-03-06T23:20:00.000-08:00

"Memories are better left behind at times~"

OKAY.
I'm listening to Tegoshi's 'Ai Nante' now.
*goes into a damn emo mood*

I just realised I should update.
I'm really just damn lazy though.
Shucks.

Kick me off my laptop~!
Stop me from playing Sims 3 PLEASE!
I just went to China & made my 'daughter' a black belt martial artist.
HAHA, TOTALLY AWESOME & ARSE-KICKING 8D

Back to the point.
RESULTS ARE BEING RELEASED NEXT FRIDAY.
OH SHUCKS.
Please let me get a GPA of 3.5+!
I'll be waking up on Friday morning to the SMS results on my mobile phone.
THE TENSION~~! (T_T)

Anyway.
I've been watching Yamato Nadeshiko.
I had just read the manga before the drama came out :D
WHY, you may wonder?

The only reason I read that manga is because it is similar to another manga I love, 'Kimi ni Todoke'.
The major difference is :
-> Yamanade is CRACK/COMEDY!
-> Kimi ni Todoke is ROMANCE!

I was feeling so "BAWL~!" while Kyouhei was crying in episode 8.
GOSH (T_T)
ALERT: YAMANADE fanatic here! *gets shot*
Gah!
I'm not a big fan of KAT-TUN but..
'Love yourself~' is really addictive D:

IN ADDITION.
Kame + SHORT hair + GLASSES ...

I apologise.
My 'megane' fetish is back <3
Also, Kame with short hair is just CUTER!

He made me watch 'Cartoon KAT-TUN' D:
I watched Kame & Koki's double date.
HAHA. ADORABLY CUTE.
...
...
Erm Erm.
I'M SORRY NEWS! (>_<)

HAHAHA.
I still love NEWS & my 'Kabocha' most okay?
MY PROOF:

Random thought: I feel that Hubby became chubbier?!
Ooh~ That fringe of his is distracting me.
It looks like bangs in this, huh?
I want bangs too!
HAHA.

Alright then.
I'll be heading off now.

JaNe!

2010-02-26T21:43:00.000-08:00

" My fears have yet to be bypassed..."

EXAMS ARE OVER!
DO CELEBRATE WITH ME.

However, falling sick the day before the last paper is the worst scenerio (=_=)
That is EXACTLY what happened to me.
I guess stress gets to me really easy, huh.
What a life.

ANYWAY.
I'm almost done with Edgey's last case!
HOHO.
Ah, trivial mentions of dear 'Feenie' made me happy 8D
It would have been better for him to AT LEAST appear though (>_>)
Why does Edgeworth get to appear in Phoenix's game but not vis versa...

Oh well.
Kay makes up for it.
I really do prefer her over Maya~ -Okay, Maybe it's just cause she dresses like a ninja-
Plus, she totally OWNED Edgeworth with using his Cravat as a hankerchief.
HAHA, HE ACTUALLY CARRIES A SPARE?!
Plus, that whole scene where Young Kay came from behind and kicked him, OMG.
I PRACTICALLY LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF.

Ah, good laughs~ (=^_^=)

Playing Edgeworth really does make you love him more
Sondra wants a Ace Attorney game which has both Phoenix & Edgeworth playing a tag team 8D
I'd love to have both of them as the main at the SAME time.

Alright, toodles!

JaNe.

2010-02-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

" I just want a day to go by when I'm not pretending to be happy.."

It happened again.
That emotional mental breakdown.
I can't talk.
I can't laugh.
I can't smile.
I can't even cry.

How much can one person hate herself?
Is there even a limit?

I hate my face.
I hate my personality.
I hate my colour.
I hate being called something/someone I'm not.
I may act normal when that happens but..
INSIDE, I'M FREAKING BEING TORN APART.

You know?
When I stand infront of a mirror,
there is a great urge to break it.
Even if I were to bleed, it wouldn't matter.
As long as I never have to see my own reflection again.

How I wish I were just a piece of blank paper.
I could just rip myself into pieces or use a shredding machine to rid me of my existance.
I don't want to live in this world anymore.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Why do I have to force myself to be happy?
Why do people tell me to be happier?
Why do they tell me not to be EMO?

DO YOU THINK I CHOOSE TO BE THAT WAY?

DO YOU THINK I WANT TO BE THAT WAY?

I WANT TO DAMN HAPPY.
I WANT TO BE CARE-FREE & OPTIMISTIC.
That's the girl I wish to be!

Why can't people understand how HARD it is to be happy?
Especially when you can't even learn to love yourself?

When you tell me to, I TRY AND TRY.
When something happens, I try to be happy by looking at the positive side(~~if there is one~~).
Inside though... I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING EATEN ALIVE.

It's not easy at all.
It's makes breathing difficult.

Gosh, I really wish that at times like this,
I had someone to comfort me while I cry and pour my heart out.

JaNe.

2010-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

"You spin my head right round, right round~"

MY GOSH.
The exams are coming!
Heck, I want holidays first D:

I've received my coursework grades for most subjects.
All ranging from A-B.
Sigh (-_-)

Stress is becoming a health-hazard for me ):
BOO HOO.

Late night talks with Twin made me think about Sunday!
GAH.
CNY & Valentine's Day?
I don't think I'm going to get chocolate this year ):

PS: TWIN, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK OKAY.
ADMIRATION IS THE BEST :D

Toodles~!

JaNe.

2010-01-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

"When you open your eyes, you will understand the horror of life.."

BUSY BUSY BUSY.

Busy as a bee ~

Bzzz.Bzzz.

JaNe.

2010-01-19T05:11:00.000-08:00

"I can't say how I feel.."

Sorry.
Looking through the facebook status and realising something.
Ex-classmates and friends.

Those days in Secondary school must have been some of the best years in your life.
Well, I'M SORRY.
I can't share those thoughts.

Well, it's not as if anyone would bother to care about what I think though.
I just want to voice myself.
You don't really need to give a shit about this.

Anyway.
I will NEVER say I enjoyed secondary school.
Even if I enjoyed 2 out of 5 years,
3 years of hell just brushes those years away.

You know why?
Everything I gained in those 2 years..
I LOST IT ALL.

EVEN IF YOU THINK I DIDN'T,
THINK BACK TO THEN...
AND THINK ABOUT NOW.

I know I did.
I lost everything I had back then.
I did gain valuable things after then, but nothing can change the fact that I lost everything before then.
One big difference from then & now:
I WAS REPLACED.

Truthfully, I understand why (new friends/3 years is a long time) but sadly, I'll never get over it.
Therefore, I'm sorry but I'll never really be able to be myself again.

I sincerely apologise.

PS: However, I'm thankful to the people who made those 3 years of hell worthwhile enough.
Sofia, Amanda & Zara. Thank you <3

JaNe.

I envy you, Sawako. Your high school life changed for the best.
Mine did the exact opposite~
.
.
.
.
.
I want to go back to primary 5 & 6.
Those days are the only happy memories I have left without any regrets <3

2010-01-13T00:15:00.000-08:00

"If only this world would stop turning.."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEUNG GI OPPA!
SARANGHAEYO <3

Anyway.

I want more FREE TIME.

I want a BREAK.

I want MY LIFE BACK.

JaNe.

2010-01-07T20:04:00.000-08:00

Just why?
Why do I have to remember those days?
Why do I have to miss the old days?

I've always loved my Sec1&2 class.
It was the best class in my whole life <3
However, the days I had in lower sec..
They taunt me.

My life was a disaster after 2005.
Everything was hell.
I've cried way too many times in the past 4 years.

Not being able to do what I wanted.
Not being able to be with my closest friends back then.
Right now, they may be by my side but...
I can't go back to those days we had in lower sec, I miss them so much.
I wasn't able to spend secondary school days with the people I wanted to.
I'll never forgive myself for that.

Not working hard enough during streaming in Sec 2.
I guess I deserved it..
I threw myself to books after lower sec, to make up for the regret I had.
Not being able to share fun times with my friends for 3 years.
Those memories and times from my past still haunt me.
It hurt so much back then.

Sec 3 was an emotional rollercoaster.
I was an emotional wreck.
Being thrown into a den with unknown faces..
Faces I've grown to dislike through the past years.

There's no way anyone could understand.
There no way you could understand how much pain I've gone through.
I may have never shown it to your face,
BUT I'VE BEEN HURTING LIKE HELL DURING THOSE 3 YEARS IN THAT PLACE.

It was my limit.
I guess depression stemmed from the very day I begin 3rd year.
All the treatment I received in that place, it was 'unforgettable'.
Gosh, how pathetic could I be?
I'm a pathetic fool who dwells too much on the past.

Thankfully, I'm glad to be in TP now.
Through DPA, I found myself again.
I found a place I belonged once again.
I found friends who loved me as well.
Thank you for those short two months.
I treasure every single memory from then.

Right now, poly life is tough.
It's tough but I'm not alone in the environment.
I have awesome friends in my class.
Without them, I wouldn't be able to survive poly life.
Haha, dramatic much?

Also.
I have my friends who have stood by me throughout all these years.
Thank you to my besties and my closest buddies.
I really love all of you so much.
Without all of you, I would have never made it this far.

Gosh.
I think I'm crying right now?
Heck, I just needed to rant like hell.

I think I have a lot more to say.
A lot more to rant about.
Someone to rant to, I want.
Someone who can understand me.

Sigh.
Take care world.

JaNe.

2010-01-06T19:10:00.000-08:00

" A moment is my only chance for a miracle... "

Wow.
I realised something.
I haven't been keeping in touch with loads of people since the term break.
Gosh, I'm sorry people ):

I've been a busy bee.
Problems here and there.
Projects everywhere.
SIGH.

I HAVE A GOOD IDEA TO BEGIN THE YEAR.
Studying has to become my hobby till mid-february!
That way, I'll be confident in doing well for all subjects this Semester.

I need study sessions soon with besties ):
I need to TALK about stuff.
I need to catch up with stuff as well.
MOST IMPORTANTLY.
I need to get out of the house.
For more reasons than one (-_-)
It's a danger zone right now!
Some of you might know why ):

Well then.
TILL THE NEXT UPDATE.

JaNe!

" I don't know if it's love but it's making me feel like a really mean girl ; "

2010-01-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

"If only this world would stop spinning.."

I feel like shit.
Literally.

I feel like I have NO LIFE.
I can't seem to even enjoy my time at home.
I'm become too lazy to leave the house on weekends.
How sucky can this get?

School from morning to evening almost everyday.
What an "awesome" life, huh.
Even when you reach home, you need to do WORK.
UGH.

I don't understand why I still go online.
I can't bring myself to talk to people even if I want to.
Why, you may ask?
It's because I'm too tired & seriously, wishing people would talk to me instead.
Cause I can't seem to break free from the stress by myself ):
SIGH.

I want this year to be a good year.
I want to enjoy this year with my besties & close friends.
I want to meet up with all of them soon ):

BESTIES.
We should have study sessions!
We can meet up more often that way ^^

Judging from schedules though,
it's so freaking hard to get free time.
Sigh, what a life.
What a life.

Oh yes, PS.
I've used all my birthday presents from last year already.
Yes, I even used the Playdough my besties gave me.
I HAVE PROOF OKAY GUYS.

SEE!
CUTE RIGHT?
I made a cake as well.
My mum said I was being childish!
I used it to distress myself though =X

Well then.
Take care everyone!

JaNe.

2009-12-30T21:56:00.000-08:00

"Dawn of the Golden Witch~"

OMG.
EPISODE 6 IS OUT.
HAHAHA.
MAJOR SPAZZING NOW.
CAPS TAKEN FROM POSTS ON LJ.

UMINEKO OWNS ME.
OMG.
BATTLER IS HOT IN THAT CAPE.
GOSH DAMN IT, I WANT TO PLAY TOO.

WHY CAN'T I SPEAK & UNDERSTAND JAPANESE?
ARGH, SO ANNOYING!
IF ONLY THE WORLD SPOKE A SINGLE LANGUAGE!

OH BY THE WAY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ERIKA?
FANTASIZING ABOUT BATTLER MARRYING HER?
DREAM ON WOMAN.
HE BELONGS TO BEATO.
BUT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD FALL FOR THAT BOY CAUSE IT'S TOTALLY OBVIOUS I WOULD TOO <3

Alright.
I should stop spazzing..
ONLINE (:

AWWWWW <3
I'm glad I met Umineko as well, Beato 8D

JaNe.

2009-12-26T23:55:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes I wish time would just stop forever.."

My blog needs an update.
I'm sorry (-_-)
I've been too lazy to update.

I will not have much of a life till March ):
I WANT MY REAL HOLIDAYS, DAMN IT.
NO PROJECTS AND NO EXAMS.
PLEASE, SANTA?!
~~Okay, it's too late to be asking Santa for a present.~~

UPDATE TIME.
I went out with Yuhui, Shi Min, Andrea and Jessica on Christmas eve :D
It was for Yuhui's "surprise" birthday celebration!
We caught 'Alvin & the Chipmunks 2' at Vivo 8D

OM MY GAWD.
ALVIN, I HEART YOU <333
HAHAHA.
OKAY.
Chill time (:

After the movie, we headed to Ajisen for lunch/dinner?
You could count it as either.

Candid shots, much?

We moved on to 'TeaCozy' after that.
Gosh, I thought that cafe was an antique shop!
SERIOUSLY.
Everything there was for sale so we were scared to touch stuff.
HAHA.
We gave Yuhui her surprise there :D
I HOPE YOU HAD AN AWESOME TIME MISS <3
Now, I shall flood with some pictures!

Birthday girl's surprise!
CUTE RIGHT? :D

Earl Grey tea (:
Ah, it tastes nice with lots of sugar in my case!

All those items behind and around us are for sale.
Even the chairs we sat on!
I was interested in the bell sign & candle lamps 8D
So expensive though (T_T)

I can't handle cameras and mirrors.
Hahaha!

The day was long..
I reached home at 11pm sharp that day!
It was really fun though!
Thanks for the awesome time!

School starts on Monday.
UGH.
I need to do FA tomorrow.
Dreadful, so dreadful.
Well, till then.

JaNe!

2009-12-13T17:27:00.000-08:00

"Your smile is the best cure for my heart's sickness.."

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, DEBBIE CHEW <3

NEWS Diamond DVD.
Gosh, I suck (-.-)

I still haven't ordered my own copy yet.
I've been too busy with exams to find the time to order.
NEVERMIND.
I'll be ordering it by the end of this week! (:

Anyway.
I decided to screencap some scenes from the DVD itself.
I'm so thankful to everyone who uploaded and subbed the DVDs.
Major <33333
HAHA.

HAHA.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to catch Massu on big screen 8D

Poor boy D:
Even a 13 year old kid said you were CHILDISH!
<33

Shige's petty :D
All the talk about who pays for food makes me hungry..

Shige's such a pessimist.
HAHA.
WE SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS SHIGE <3

Massu doesn't like Tegoshi dancing to his song NAKED.
HAHAHA.

<3333

Yamapi~"niichan" 8D

....
(=_=)
Tegoshi, where the heck is your hand?!

(=0_0=)
Okay, heck.
I'm jealous of you Tegoshi.
So damn jealous >[

More screencaps to come in future.
Till then.

JaNe.

2009-12-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

" There was never a beginning or an end.. "

Why?
Why, just why?

Why do I have to bear with this much pain?
It haunts me everyday.
There's no such thing as peace.
There's no such thing as happiness.

I want this world of mine to end..
Right now.

JaNe.

2009-12-05T19:14:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes I wonder why I put up with everything till I breakdown and cry.."

NOTICE.
I won't be updating my blog until exams are over!
The only reason I'm updating right now is because my twin keeps bugging me.
HAHA.
I don't need you to hunt me down in school, twin (:

Anyway.
School ended at 6pm yesterday.
I met up with Yuhui & Chenyi before heading to Andrea's place.
We went to celebrate Andrea's birthday :D
I'm glad I managed to catch up with everyone who went (:

We left there around 10.45pm.
DAMN LATE!
Before I knew it, I was the only one left at the bus-stop ):
My bus was taking forever so called my mum to fetch me instead.
I decided to message Jonathan to call & keep me company :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH JONATHAN <3

I won't have a life till next Thursday.
Please do not bother me with trivial things till then.
THANK YOU.
I shall be mugging away at home.
Morning to night, only with a lunch break.

Well, till then.

JaNe.

2009-11-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

"I don't want to be a fool once again.."

15TH NOVEMBER

Thank you to all who wished me!
I really appreciate it! :D
I spent the day at home from morning till evening.
I had to study for Business Stats ):
Oh well.

I met Sofia in the evening for dessert!
We went to the Airport, Breeks restaurant.
HOWEVER.
We never finished our dessert..
IT WAS TOO MUCH.

ANYWAY.
Once again!
Thank you everyone who wished me <3

Some pictures from that day:

My birthday cake!
Blackforest, yum yum <3

JaNe.

2009-11-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

" Rain is beautiful and lonely.. "

The weeks chug along.
The dread of living every single day rises.
This world..
How I wish it was colourless.
I hate colours..

Without colours,
people wouldn't be able to like or dislike any.
They wouldn't have a favourite or a hated.
Colours just put my world in dismay.
Why do they exist?
WHY COULDN'T THIS WORLD BE MADE OF ONE MONOTONOUS COLOUR?!

If it was, life would be a whole lot easier.

This world was never fair.
It will never be fair.
Not everybody will get what they desire.
I don't believe in happiness.

Maybe, just maybe.
Happines can be reached if you run towards the light but..
I'm stuck in the darkness.
The light to guide me doesn't exist.
I can't be strong.
I can't walk and look for it.
I gave up even before I started.

The rain.
How I long to drown myself in it.
Hopefully, my sorrows drown as well..
Even if it's temporary.

Or else.
The agony ;The pain ;
Everything will eat me alive.
I may just give up permanently.

JaNe.

2009-11-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

"If only we could see our red strings of fate.."

Short update.
Seriously though,
I'm TOO TIRED to update.

I just ate sushi for dinner.
Yummy sushi.
GOSH.
I am so damn freaking tired.
My eyes feel like closing & never opening again.

This sunday is my special day (:
I'll finally be a year older..
I've been waiting for the day to come!
WHOO HOO.

Note to self:
Watch my hubby's PV when tired or stressed.

You're the only one who can gives me strength to go on.
I wouldn't be able to continue on without you.
Thank you for your existance in my world, Massu <3

JaNe.

2009-10-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

"Spooks and candies along the way.."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

I went to the Night Safari with Sofia.
I didn't dress up, but I plan to next year!
HAHA.
The weather was really gloomy..
It continued to rain even once we were inside ):

We walked through all the trails..
We even took a normal tram & the Train of Terror!
We were there till about 12.45am or so.
Reached home around 1.15am since Sofia's dad fetched me :D
I WAS REALLY TIRED.

MOVING ON.
I met Yuhui in the morning!
We went to Airport Starbucks to study (:
I managed to do my Business Stats & OB.
YAY!

Pictures from today!

Pictures from the Night Safari!
Expect loads of ghouls and ghosts!
We look unglam thanks to the rain so do ignore us.
It ruined our hair & everything ):
HAHA.

JaNe.

2009-10-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

"It gives you a sense of deja vu.."

It's time to start afresh.
New animes to watch.
New jap/korean dramas to watch.
Happy Happy!

One of my new Jap dramas, おひとりさま..
IT HAS TEPPEI IN IT 8D

Okay okay.
He's not the reason I decided to watch it.
The story plot seems interesting and..
The plus point is that Teppei's the main male lead.
SO, WHY NOT? :D

A few other plus points to the drama?
Big Bang's new single is the drama's OP <3
YAY, LOVE LOVE.

OH YES.
Tachibana Keita's in it too.
HAHAHA.
I was seriously shocked.
I was wondering,
"Isn't that Keita? What's he doing in Teppei's drama?"

Ah, what shocking revelations =X
Alright.
That's enough for today.

PS: My dear Min Ho oppa! Hope you will love Singapore :D

JaNe.

2009-10-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

"Beautiful memories are stained with regret.."

School has started.
It's been a busy week.
I played pool with friends on Wednesday during our 5hr break!
We even met up early yesterday to play bowling.
A good week to start off with~

Anyway.
I couldn't go today.
I wanted to go so badly, but in the end..
I wasn't able to go.
I miss studying at the airport really badly too ):

Unfortunately, I cried.
The sadness was overwhelming.
It will be alright.
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
Maybe I'll be given a better chance to see you next time.

Heck.
It would be better to see both Kim Bum & Min Ho!
(Without fangirls would be the best)
OKAY.
Watching youtube videos made me feel better :D

Benefits of not going?
I don't have to slot myself in with crazy fangirls.
That's something positive to think about (:

ANYWAY.
I have something to look forward to.
I will probably meet Debbie Chew tomorrow <3
Girl, I miss you & have loads to complain/tell you about!
I can't wait to see you tomorrow <33

PS: F.T.Island's song ,'Raining', makes me cry ):

JaNe.

2009-10-21T23:17:00.000-07:00

"Fangirls need a leash & some mental pills..."

I. AM. NOT. IN. THE. MOOD.

SO. JUST. SHUT. THE. FREAK. UP.

Thank goodness for people like Massu.
I love you Hubby, lots <3

EDIT:

Trizia's awesome drawing skills.
HAHAHA.

By the way, what she drew NEVER happened (:
THE END.

JaNe.

2009-10-15T23:11:00.000-07:00

"Thinking fantasy could ever become reality is a foolish dream ;"

OH MY GAWD.
REMIND ME WHY I DON'T LIKE GIRLS LIKE THAT?
I DON'T EVEN DO SUCH RIDICULOUS THINGS.
I.AM.SO.PISSED.

My anger level is RISING LIKE HELL.
PRETENDING NOTHING HAPPENED DOESN'T WORK.
INSTEAD, YOUR CRAZINESS IS GETTING OVERRATED.

I'M NOT A FANGIRL, REMEMBER?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND SUCH ACTIONS.
OKAY OKAY.
I NEED TO MOVE ON WITH THIS POST.

---------------------->

I've been playing The Sims 3 these days.
I took loads of screencaps :D
Let me post some!
HAHA.

This screencap is still my fav <3
Taken at my house, HAHA.

I'm an artist!
AN ARTIST, YAY!

Hoho, romantic much?

I CAUGHT A KISS SCENE.
(I caught a lot actually..)
TAKE THAT, TRIZIA :D
Now, if only I could put this picture's kiss with the first picture's background xP

Reading time with the twins (:
AWWW.

Dinner outside,
just the two of us.
GOOD FOOD <3

Tsk tsk.
Flirting everywhere you go~

My twins as elementary students!
They really look like TWINS :D

Awww~
Daddy & daughter time :D

OMG.
I just realised something.
My husband's hair colour is the same as Battler?!
---->

Awesome fanart by Japanese fans <3
I LOVE BATTLER <333
~~HE'S AWESOME AND BAD-ASS!~~

BATTLER!
YOU MADE ME DO THAT UNCONSCIOUSLY, DIDN'T YOU?!
HAHAHA.
Oh well, it's fine.
My husband suits that hairstyle & colour anyway 8D

Alright.
Logging off now!
Visiting Aakansha tomorrow (:

JaNe.

2009-10-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

" A memory still fades just like pictures.. "

HELLO.
I thought that I should update?
SCHOOL IS STARTING NEXT WEEK.

OH THE HORROR.
I seriously do not want to take FA2 ):
Gosh, I'll have to bear with it..
MUST THINK OF MY LUXURIOUS-WITH-MONEY FUTURE.

Anyway!
I went out with my bestest friends on Monday :D
AWESOME TIME OUT.
We watched the movie,'Sorority Row'.
Let me say one thing:
The killing never really made much sense (>.>)

ALSO.
Beware of possessive & insane boyfriends (:
SIGH.
It's sad that he was supposedly the best-looking one too.
*shrugs*

We had a Karaoke session after the movie.
Roycelyn sang a load of duet songs by herself.
HAHA.
I didn't sing much, but I still sang something.
I promise I'll sing more next time!

HOWEVER.
I'm sticking to singing English/Japanese..
Unless someone brings lyrics to sing with for Korean songs.
REASON: I don't memorise lyrics for songs at all.
TOO LAZY :D

Alright.
I'm ending this post here.

JaNe.

2009-10-10T23:22:00.000-07:00

" Love is the worst feeling in the world ; "

I feel really depressed.
SIGH.

I found out FA2 will be next semester.
That was the beginning of my depression.
Then I thought to myself:
"At least I can enjoy myself during Halloween this year!"

Those hopes crashed to the ground though.
I didn't expect to feel THIS disappointed.
I guess I was looking forward to it so much that I...
It feels like my hopes were smashed.

I feel depressed enough to cry.
I thought that I finally had something to look forward to.
I guess dreams..
Will always just be dreams..

JaNe.

2009-10-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

" If I were to die, it would be by your side.. "

MONDAY

I met up with Sofia~
I met her mum too.
HAHA.
Seriously hilarious.
Amanda joined us later.
We even ran into Sheryll & Amrita.
It was a LONG day.

TOO LAZY TO UPDATE IN DETAIL.

TODAY

I met Jasmine today!
She passed me the latte can she bought for me!
Reason? IT HAS JI YOUNG ON IT <3
Thank you loads Jas! :D

We watched Phobia 2.
I'm a Phobia/4bia fan & I'll admit it!
What I loved about the movie?
It was nice(5th was LOVE) & it had handsome guys 8D
HAHAHA.

I didn't realise that the guy in 'Backpackers' was Charlie.
OMG.
THE CHARLIE FROM DORM & MY GIRL.
THE CUTE KID I USED TO LIKE!?
HAHAHA.
Jasmine recognised him, but I couldn't D:
GOSH, I SUCK.

He's grown into a handsome lad at the age of 16 <3
I miss his cute side a tiny bit though xP

ALSO.
I officially adore 'Aey'!
He's good-looking & has beautiful eyes (*_*)
'Ter' is cute too, but he screams LIKE A GIRL.
WTH?! *laughs like crazy*

Jas & me were creating our own story on the way home.
We were talking about how 'Ter' would react if something came after Jas & him.
HE WOULD DEFINITELY RUN AWAY, SCREAMING!
He would leave her behind in the process!

Jas would be pitiful to be paired up with 'Ter' in a horror film..
Awww~

Of course, I doubt 'Aey' would do that.
He'd definitely run away WITH me =X
HAHAHA.

EPIC/SPASTIC FACE OF 'TER'!

JASMINE.
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE A STORY FOR IT.
IT WOULD BE FULL OF CRACK BECAUSE OF 'TER'!

Okay okay.
I think I'm too high right now.
I'll be meeting Sanam, Chenyi & Aakansha tomorrow.
Looking forward to it <3

JaNe!

2009-10-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

" Whenever the memories resurface, the tears just fall unconsciously.. "

Sigh.
I feel so emo these days ):
SHUCKS.

Anyway, LOOK ABOVE!
IT'S FEENIE <3
Awww~

I bought the PW bookmarks ages ago!
I never had the chance to blog about them though ):
THEREFORE.
I am going to do that today!
HAHAHA.

These are the ones I bought.
I received a 'Nessie' bookmark as well, but I didn't take a picture of it.
From left to right:
Phoenix, Apollo,Young!Feenie, Iris, Trucy, Klavier, Young!Bratworth aka Edgeworth.

What do you think is the best part about these bookmarks?
I CAN PAIR THEM UP.
HAHAHA.

Here are my favourite pairings:
*cough ~~yaoi~~ cough*

Don't you just find those X's so AWESOME?
<333

The only GxB pairing I adore in PW just as much:

I adore the Phoenix/Iris pairing 8D
Iris is adorable, compared to her freaking arse sister, Dahlia (:

Alright.
My holidays are ending in two weeks ):
I'M DEPRESSED.

Can I have another month?!
PLEASE?

JaNe!

2009-10-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

"Follow the river and you will reach the shore;"

I AM SLEEPY!
Shucks.
Staying up till 3+am almost everyday is BAD.
I'm too addicted to playing my games ):

WEDNESDAY

I met up with Twin on Wednesday!
AWESOME TIME OUT.
We bought lunch & Starbucks..
AND ATE IT AT ESPLANADE'S ROOF TERRACE.
We love that place <3

We talked about a whole load of things.
Plus, we LAUGHED A LOT.
Tsk tsk.
Trizia, the whole process I expained is correct.
EVEN YOUR FRIEND SAID SO.
Just believe us and forget about the idea of asking a gay person :D
I doubt he'd feel comfortable telling you about his experiences of THAT.
ERHEM! *cough cough*

THURSDAY

ANYWAY.
I met up with Sofia yesterday.
I've been in a bad mood cause of her BUT..
I'm okay with her now.
REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE AH, SOFIA.

We had lunch at Parkway & shopped around for her stuff.
Then, we headed to Plaza Singapura to search for a BOX.
Slacked at Starbucks after that with my frap <3
I listened to all of Sofia's rants.
If you need help, just call me!
CHEER UP OKAY? (:

Here are some pictures we took yesterday.

JaNe.

2009-09-28T22:36:00.000-07:00

"I'm sick and tired of everything.."

BULLSHIT.
Okay, sorry.
That's not the way to start a post, is it?

Anyway.
I'm SICK & TIRED OF YOU.
You call yourself a friend, but you know what?
YOU DON'T EVEN MAKE AN EFFORT TO BE A FRIEND.
You call me a bestie, but I don't see how you are one?
Please enlighten me.
In what way do you act like one? (:

I KNOW WHO MY BESTEST FRIENDS ARE..
You are definitely not one of them ANYMORE.
Want to know why?
It's because you THROW AWAY THE OLD FOR THE NEW.
Ever heard that phrase??

The first time I met you, I detested you.
The second time I met you, you showed me that you changed.
I grew to trust and believe in you.
BUT NOW..
You have changed into someone I barely know.
Where is the YOU THAT I LOVED?

I'm so angry.
I'm so disappointed.
I don't even want to see your face anymore.
You just seem to hurt me every single time I talk to you.
I've grown tired.

Let me tell you right now:
I am tired of being your friend.
I am tired of trying to keep our friendship strong..
Especially since whenever I try, you can never cooperate.
Therefore, this is the end.

MOVING ON.
This week seems promising.
I will probably be meeting up with Twin :D
Good old Esplanade & Starbucks times!

ALSO.
I can't wait to meet up with Jas & Roy as well :D
I know I'll be meeting Jasmine!
Hopefully, I'll be able to meet Roycelyn before the holidays are over (>_<)
WE NEED TO PLAN A DAY FOR ALL OF US TO GO OUT.

JaNe.

2009-09-23T18:09:00.000-07:00

" The heart is a fragile piece of glass.. "

I AM BACK.
The Batam trip was alright.
I lazed around in the hotel room most of the time.
ME LAZY :D

Anyway,
I suffered from a major shock at night!
I was busy watching my kdrama on my laptop.
Suddenly, my mum said, " Massu's on TV. "

I seriously thought she was JOKING.
THEREFORE.
I looked, and guess what I saw?!
IT REALLY WAS MASSU =O

Sorry for the bad quality pictures ):
I tried my best~

My first reaction?
Why the hell are you on TV HERE, Massu? (=.=)
I don't even get to see him on TV in Singapore!
UNFAIR.

MOVING ON.
About all the plagiarism problems Ji Young is suffering from now,
I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING PEOPLE.
He totally DID NOT plagiarise any songs.
FREAKING SHIT.
Those ~~netizens~~ people especially..
You better stop creating bullshit to ruin him.

Okay.
I'VE VENTED ENOUGH.

JaNe.

2009-09-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

"Lose control before it's too late.."

Why?
Why did that happen?
I don't understand it myself.

All I did was look through pictures.
Yet, why did that happen?
Why...
Why did my tears start to fall?

At that very moment, I felt so empty inside.
I felt so lost.
A gaping hole from the past was showing itself.

I thought I was over you.
Why do you still make me cry?
Even after 2+ years?

I hate myself for being this way.
I believed that I was over you.
I believed very much.
However, my heart still does otherwise at times.

I'll do my best to get over this.
It's a hurdle I need to jump across.

I'm happy just being your friend.
Even if we don't talk much or at all now,
I'm happy to know that I can call you a 'friend'.

That itself, was a miracle for me.

JaNe.

2009-09-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

"Lose it all, and come back to me.."

Whoo.
Okay, it's been AGES since I updated.

I caught up with Yuhui yesterday.
I went Halloween shopping (:
I bought my fangs and cape.
I might not be wearing the fangs though because they hurt like hell.
When I actually wear the outfit, I'll take pictures (:

We did some of the usual Kino-browsing.
Re-watched 'The Proposal'~!
I never get sick of that movie :D

ANYWAY.
I met up with Amanda today.
We checked out the mall at Somerset.
There's a Japanese clothes shop there!
OMG, I love the clothes there but..
THEY ARE ALL FREAKING EXPENSIVE.
Ugh.. Depressing D:

Oh yes.
I think I'll be accompanying my mum to Batam this Sunday.
We'll probably be there from Sunday to Monday afternoon.
Mum wants to get a good massage there, HAHA.
I'm thinking of just slacking in the hotel.
I'M LAZY, FORGIVE ME.

Once I come back from Batam, I'm meeting people.
I must remember to bring my laptop on Monday.
Do remind me people :D

Alright.
BTW.
SOFIA!
WE NEED TO GO FOR OUR PICNIC OUTING AFTER HARI RAYA.
DO NOT FORGET!

JaNe.

2009-09-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

"The memories leave behind tainted scars.."

MONDAY

I met up with Shi Min & Andrea.
We slacked a lot & ate lunch at BBQ chicken.
I totally promoted Umineko to them 8D
HOHO.
I also bought Umineko Episode 1(Bk 2-3)!
Whee~

TODAY

I met my with my BFF, Debbie Chew!
LIKE FINALLY!
We haven't met in MONTHS.
HAHA.

Since we were meeting up after ages,
I bought her a little something.
It's something full of chocolatey-goodness <3
If you want to know what it was,
please do check out her blog instead.
SHE POSTED PICTURES!

After Starbucks & loads of catching up,
We caught a movie at Cineleisure.
"THE PROPOSAL" <3

Let me state something:
The main reason I wanted to watch it was because of Ryan Renolds 8D
HAHAHA.
The movie was really AWESOME.
I wouldn't mind watching it again~!

It was a great day out with you, BFF!
G-Force 3D next week, okay? :D

Okay.
That's about it for today.

JaNe.

2009-09-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

"I just want to bleed to my death right now."

OKAY.
I'm feeling really pissed or something now.
Talk about being ignored and such..
I FEEL LIKE FREAKING CRYING NOW.

Due to some circumstances, I realised something.
Why is it that eventhough I played a part,
I didn't receive any recognition?
Am I invisible?
Do I really have such a forgetful existance to you?

What the hell are true friends?!
I can't even say that phrase anymore!
I feel so betrayed, so alone!
DAMN IT.

Where's the thanks I deserve?
Where's the respect I should be given?
Why doesn't ANYONE notice how much pain I'm in right now?!
The people I thought were my close friends..
They've forgotten all about me, haven't they?

I don't WANT this kind of treatment.
I don't NEED this kind of treatment.
Not from the people I love most.
Why is it like this?
I was gifted with wonderful friends in the past but..
THEY WERE TAKEN AWAY FROM ME TIME AFTER TIME.
Why does life always have to be so UNFAIR?

First, I was separated.
Second, I was replaced.
Third, my importance is fading away.
WHAT SHIT IS ALL THIS!?

My heart is being torn to pieces each time!
I feel so riduculed!
I don't even know WHAT I MEAN to anyone now..

I CAN'T STAND PUTTING ON A FAKE SMILE JUST SO IT WILL SEEM LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG ANYMORE.

SO MANY THINGS I WISH TO TELL, BUT I DON'T HAVE THE FREAKING GUTS TO DO SO.

I'M A DAMN LOSER WHO CAN'T BEAR TO SPEAK HER MIND TO THE PEOPLE SHE LOVES.

I GIVE UP.
I SERIOUSLY... give up.

JaNe.

2009-08-29T16:00:00.000-07:00

"Memories are coming back, eating me alive.."

THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE.
I'm so sorry for the late update!
Blogger's been giving me problems.

ANYWAY.
I met up with Jasmine & Trizia yesterday!
AWESOME DAY OUT <3
We couldn't watch Final Destination 4, because of ME!
I'm so sorry ):
BUT..
Thanks for saying you'll accompany me not to watch it till the DVD comes out!
I'M REALLY GRATEFUL :D

Moving on~
I've been remembering someone recently.
Hmmm.
I don't really like that at all.
Maybe I should try talking to that someone now?
In the first place, why is it suddenly bothering me now?
I just don't get it at all (-_-)

Anyway.
I'm currently into Umineko loads now.
I've completed the games 1-4 already.
The games are totally addictive & awesome! 8D
I'm waiting for the translated fifth game!
I'm keeping myself entertained with the anime & manga!
My OTP from Umineko would be...Battler x Beato <3

I love these two loads <33
I want to play the fifth game soon~! (>_<)

PLANS AHEAD!
+ Fatal Frame gameplay at my house with classmates!
+ Meeting my ONEE-CHAN, finally!
+ T06 aka ELE gatherings!
+ Movies & outings with my bestest friends!
+ Gathering with my 5/1 pals~!

I can't wait to enjoy my holidays to the fullest (:

JaNe!

2009-08-18T23:41:00.000-07:00

"Miracles happen once in a lifetime..."

The photoshoot is OVER.
Let me state something.
I hate eyeliner & mascara!
It's so hard to wash off!
I have super OBVIOUS dark circles now D:

Anyway.
Today's shoot was fun.
I think we all laughed a lot today :D
They made Allen say , "Understand ah..", every time they took the shots.
It was really hilarious.
Farzean and me were laughing A LOT.
HAHA.

Overall, it was a good experience.
I had the chance to make new friends!
Like who?
Farzean and Allen, of course :D
It was a fun experience (:

OKAY.
I'm off to bed after a LONG day of studying & pictures.

JaNe.

2009-08-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

"Lose yourself withing the roses.."

I've fallen sick with the flu.
I was supposed to stay home on Wednesday but..
I had my CommSkills presentation so I HAD to go.
Horrible idea.
My head was literally hurting like hell.

I took an MC for today instead.
When I woke up, I felt really lethargic.
I took my medication & am FINALLY feeling better.
Now, stuck studying BOA.
UGH.
That horrible subject.

I can't wait till it's over.. FOR GOOD.

Additional reminder:
Photoshoot on Monday & collection of Natsu Matsuri festival tickets.

JaNe.

2009-08-08T23:37:00.000-07:00

"Live it my way~"

IT'S NATIONAL DAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE (:

I met up with Sofia today!
I got to see her after AGES :D
We met up for a studying session at Starbucks.
I ate at Swensons for lunch..
My precious $14 gone in an hour ):

Anyway, today's evening was WEIRD.
Some guy from China sat beside us.
He kept TALKING to us (=.=)
Seriously, we were trying to study.
PLUS.
He tried to ask us whether we were free to teach him English?
He even asked us for our numbers!
Obviously, we didn't give our numbers and we told him we were BUSY.
Sofia even told him we were attached, HAHA.
On another note, he said he'd wait at Starbucks till we were free..
UGH.
He was DAMN creepy.

Okay.
Enough about that.
Pictures time :D

This is my bimbotic bestest friend, SOFIA :D

Me (:

That's all for today!
I hope everyone had a wonderful National Day!
Sleep early (=^_^=)

JaNe!

2009-08-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

"Memories will only be memories.."

Why do I feel this way?
Why do I feel so sad?

I feel insecure, lonely and afraid.
Is my existence and importance still the same as before?
I keep believing that you'll are my bffs but..
Is it still the same for you'll?

I don't know anymore.
I hardly see you'll now.
I feel really lonely ):

OKAY, DAMN IT.
The stress and anxiety is seriously getting to me.
I NEED MORE SLEEP AND MORE HOLIDAYS.

I really hope that our friendships will never fade;
No matter how far or how little we see of each other.

I hope we'll meet up really soon.
SIGH (-_-)

JaNe.

2009-08-02T19:27:00.000-07:00

"Life is but an empty nutshell.."

A picture perfect life does not exist.
A life without misery, sadness, depression..
Is there even such a thing?

Problems, problems & more problems.
They never seem to end.
I want to see my friends ):
SIGH.

I miss hanging out with my bestest friends.
I hardly get to see any of them now.
Hopefully, we'll meet up when my holidays start? ):

Also.
I want to meet Amanda & Sofia!
Those two BIMBOS.
I miss you two a lot too!
Once my holidays start, we have to go out together!
I need those two BIMBOS to make me more cheerful :D
I look forward to seeing them again after AGES.
We can take lots of pictures when that day comes!

I guess it's time to move on.
It's time to toss away all the pain.
Time to take another step forward.
Hopefully..
I'm moving closer to the light instead of the darkness.

JaNe.

2009-07-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

I hate my colour.
I really do hate it.
I seriously wish I was FAIRER.
Being brown, I totally hate it.

I HATE people who think Eurasians are all fair.
I already HATE myself for being dark...
I don't need people mistaking me for other races!!
That makes me feel even worse!

I really hate myself for the way I am.
I really do.

JaNe.